You’re Not Welcomed Here Anymore
Originally Written on March 21, 2008
We allowed a friend to stay with us while he looked for a job. That was eight weeks ago. He went to HS with my husband and despite the fact that they did not speak often, they grew up together and were very good friends. So when he contacted my husband through Facebook to tell us that he was moving back to the area, we were excited.
He moved back without a job though he supposedly had a one lined up. He was living with a friend, but after being out of work for several months, the friend asked him to leave so that his girlfriend could move in and help pay the bills. He called us. With no where to go and limited funds, I agreed to let him come living with us.
He did. And his generosity was unmatched. He allowed us to cook for him, to clean up after him, to provide him with a car and gas, and to buy food, 40s, and cigs. He allowed us to fall behind in our bills and to hope for promised money. And even made sure to leave us a tablespoon of Tanqueray that we had for over 1 year and White Zinfandel that I occasionally had to drink at night. He even finished off our vodka so that we would not get crazy and trashed one night.
We were blessed with eight weeks of his compassion. He passed up a job just so that he could spend more time with our family and he even made sure to be a negative influence on my daughter. He introduced inappropriate TV shows around our 22 month old and even left empty beer bottles around in an attempt to spark her curiosity.
Finally, we could not take anymore of his kindness; it was killing us. We were burnt out and longed for the boring, simple life that we had before his excitement. My husband asked him to leave. We give him a week and a half to make arrangements. He spent that time attempting to make us feel guilty.
Maybe I should have titled this post, “I’m Free” or something like that. Either way, my point is that after 8 weeks of being taken advantage of, we are free. And freedom, well, freedom only cost us approximately $2180. We learned a valuable lesson too.
We learned that there really are two kinds of people: givers and takers. The takers are vampires. They will suck you dry and then move on to others with no care for those they hurt. They are damaged- probably from birth.
After a friend suggested that I start a new blog, I decided that the best way to deal with these people is to help the givers out by sharing our stories.
Just found your blog.
May I add my two cents?
YES, YES, YES!
You are so right. It only takes one time to learn the lesson of generosity must be a two way agreement.
Givers and takers is a perfect way to put it. I only hope I am teaching me children to have it in balance.
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