A Quiet Return
As my new blog states, I am a bit fickle! I go from hot to cold with things and sometimes, if the thing is something I have previously held a passion for, I find myself missing it and wanting to come back. Hey, I admit it and I don’t really think I should have to explain.
I have decided to come back to Mom on the Rise because there are things about being a Mom and Homeschooling that I wish to talk about without cluttering my new home. I have decided to begin writing here again. I don’t promise that exhaustion and stress won’t keep me away or compel me to run away again, but for now, I will be returning.
So what have I been up to? I’ve been living. I have been focusing on building my business, creating my passion, loving my family and remembering that life has so much more to offer than the computer. I’ve been happy and I plan to live in a much better place than I have in the past.
And I’m ready to start writing here again.
{W}Dialogue: Reflect.Rethink.Redo
“You did it again? I swear you are so fickle.”
“I’m not fickle. I’m a Virgo! you wouldn’t understand.”
“How do you know…”
“I’m constantly changing and moving and I can’t help it. I know- I said I would leave the other design up for a while, but I changed my mind. It’s my right. Right?”
“Well then, why the black? Why the change?”
” I was listening to “Back to Black” you know, Amy Whinehouse? And I started thinking that if I had to describe where I am in my life using colors, I wouldn’t be able to. All I see are shards of broken crayons melted together from the heat of of my tears.”
“Who talks like this? I can’t follow you when you get like this”
“The confusion is too much for me and I decided that I needed to deal with things in stages. And for me that meant going “back to black”.
“But black is despair. It’s void. It’s empty.”
“For you. For many. But for me, for me, black is soothing.”
“It would be.”
“Listen, OK. Just listen. When I was a child I would sit in the dark and try to figure out what my next move would be when life got hectic and harsh. And as I sorted through the mucky mess that one often gets when too many colors mix, my black would be filled with very specific hues. I would see blues, and yellows, and greens, almost like they were flooding me with clarity.
As I sat today I saw RED. Not angry red. It was more of a fiery amber of passion. And it suddenly occurred to me that what I’m missing more than anything is passion- that spark that urged me to “do”… Continue reading