“You did it again? I swear you are so fickle.”

“I’m not fickle. I’m a Virgo! you wouldn’t understand.”

“How do you know…”

“I’m  constantly changing and moving and I can’t help it. I know-  I said I would leave the other design up for a while, but I changed my mind. It’s my right. Right?”

“Well then, why the black? Why the change?”

” I was listening to “Back to Black” you know, Amy Whinehouse? And I started thinking that if I had to describe where I am in my life using colors, I wouldn’t be able to. All I see are shards of broken crayons melted together from the heat of of my tears.”

“Who talks like this? I can’t follow you when you get like this”

“The confusion is too much for me and I decided that I needed to deal with things in stages. And for me that meant going “back to black”.

“But black is despair. It’s void. It’s empty.”

“For you. For many. But for me, for me, black is  soothing.”

“It would be.”

“Listen, OK. Just listen. When I was a child I would sit in the dark and try to figure out what my next move would be when life got hectic and harsh. And as I sorted through the mucky mess that one often gets when too many colors mix, my black would be filled with very specific hues. I would see blues, and yellows, and greens, almost like they were flooding me with clarity.

As I sat today I saw RED. Not angry red. It was more of a fiery amber of passion. And it suddenly occurred to me that what I’m  missing more than anything is passion- that spark that urged me to “do”… Continue reading →