I wish that I had a copy of “The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents” when I was on bed rest during my pregnancy back in 2005. Dale Hrabi has a unique and hilarious way of instructing expectant parents on the proper way to raise a perfect child.

“The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents”. follows the same format as that of the overly-popular “What to Expect When Expecting” book given to every expectant mom. However, The Perfect Baby is not filled with the mundane psychobabble from highly-decorated academics. Nope, the advice written here comes from a “flawed adult” who, unfortunately, “began life as an eerily non-verbal baby.”

Take the first chapter of the book in which Hrabi discusses how to choose the perfect name for your perfect child. He answers the age old question, “Are vowels really necessary,” and even helps a couple decided what middle name works best with the first name, “Almighty” for a girl.

Chapter 4 offers parents an amazing and accurate list of the best “gear” for miracle children. Hrabi questions what Picasso might have accomplished had his parents neglected him and not provided him with even the basic tools on the list. Even Dr. Seuss’ failure to achieve Surgeon status may be attributed to his parents’ lack of attention to detail. He would have benefited from the pimped-out stroller, the Bar-Hop baby Bouncer, and the Newborn Hair Scrunchy. I believe that because these items were withheld, Dr. Seuss was left to live out his years speaking in rhyme and forging friendships with little whoosits and whatsits.

Just as funny as the witting is the real-to-life sketching that illustrates the book. They serve as visual exclamation points for very important information. Take a look at the Book Trailer… Continue reading →