Work-at-home Mom and Living: is it possible?
This is supposed to be my year of ACTION. A new year in which I accomplish my goals. I just have not been able to set them yet.
I am having such a hard time figuring out what to do with this blog. I named it “Mom on the Rise” because of the Maya Angelou poem “Still I Rise.” My mom thought that having a child (even after married and in my late 20s) was the end of my life. But I always felt that it was the beginning of a new one. I am a Mom, and still I rise. I completed my Master’s Degree and started a business.
But then I got tired.
I thought about letting it go and then about writing in more of a focused niche. And yet, neither has has sat well with me. I love this blog. The design. Some of the posts that I have written in the past. I’m not sure what the heck is keeping me from writing. Maybe it’s because I have WAY too many blogs. Or maybe it’s the web designing, consulting and running We of Hue….
Obviously, I tend to spread myself too thin. I have a problem saying “no” to people and focusing on what I want to do. In some ways, I think that I prevent myself from focusing because I don’t want to commit 100% and then fail. Or maybe it’s because I keep trying to live out the definition of “mom blogger” as set by others. Truthfully, I have been making decisions based on what I SHOULD be doing (as dictated by others) as opposed to what I want to do for a long time. It’s the result of coming from a very overbearing mom who really did not… Continue reading
Lessons from a Three Year Old
It’s been a while since I simply wrote about my family or my life in general. I have been swamped with past-due product reviews and my other writing duties at the Examiner, Moms of Hue, and Traveling Mom, have fallen by the wayside. I am a perfectionist. I set very high goals for myself and when I am unable to attain them, I go into a depression that makes me even more less productive.
With the constant swarm of negative events that have plagued my family in 2009, I am finding it very difficult to motivate myself to get things done. I still have not fully come to terms with my sister’s death, nor my father-in-laws either. I can’t believe that in her short time here, my daughter has experienced two devastating losses already. I have been sad so much and while, as mothers will do, I have been trying to stay strong. I only cry when she cannot see me and I try to keep us involved in fun activities, but the truth is, I am feeling a little overwhelmed.
But the funny thing is that just when I feel like I cannot go on any further, my daughter does or says something that makes me remember that things will be alright. For example, I was really missing my sister the other day (well every day, but this one day in particular it was a lot worse). I felt empty and disconnected from the events around me and I was feeling a little guilty because of things left unsaid and unsettled. My daughter, who has shown a real understanding for empathy even at 3, came over to me and grabbed my face with her hands. She looked me in the eyes and said, “Momma, you… Continue reading
An Open Letter to Moronic Fashion Designers for Children
Dear MFDC:
I love to go shopping for my daughter but it is becoming more of a hassle than it is worth. People who know me think that I am overly-protective of my daughter. In fact, sometimes, I think that I may be too, but then I go clothes shopping for her and realize that there is no such thing as being too protective. I am a parent and protecting my child is what I should be doing. But I am feel like I am figthing against corporate giants who want me to fail.
I did not think that I had would have to sayl this to adults, but my daughter is 30 months (2 years 6 months). She does not need a two-piece bathing suit. She does not need a thong, or a tube top, or really short skirts. She does not need high heels, or wedges, or flip flops. She does not need pants that say “Juicy” or “Apple Bottom” or anything for that matter.
She is a child.
She needs clothes that do not sexualize her.
She needs to develop a strong sense of self before her self-esteem is challenged through thoughtless marketing and idiotic objectifications.
She needs to be a child.
And you should be ashamed.
Thank you,
An Irate Parent
What We Tell Our Children
My mother used to introduce me as the “athletic one”. My eldest sister was “the pretty one”.
My mother tried everything to make sure that people thought I was prettier. She forced me to wear traditionally girly clothes and did not like that I was so athletic. She wanted me to be a princess, but I just wanted to be me. She would tell me that because I was darker-skinned I needed to “soften my appearance”. Within the Black non-Community, there is a serious color complex- the lighter you are the better- and even as a child I knew this. I was the darker skinned of three girls. I never heard that I was beautiful. What I was told was “You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl” or “You would be so pretty if you weren’t so dark.” Those comments were enough to make me hate myself- and they did. Years later. I engaged in behavior that I thought would make me prettier- promiscuity and bulimia. Lying and hiding.
I do not like boxes- being put in one. Boxes hide the whole. They force people to only look at a small portion of a person, and that is damaging to the soul. I look at my daughter and want more for her. I want her to be herself with out fear. I don’t want her my birracial child to have to choose one of two races. I don’t want her to be the short one, or the fat one or even the smart one because those tags are so limiting.
What we tell our children is so important. We may not see the results right away, but words have a way of burrowing down deep inside and festering away at one’s self-confidence. There are so many things in this world… Continue reading