March 31st, 2010

Finding the Time

When I decided to shift to my niche, I asked readers to leave a question for me to answer in a blog post. It’s my way of encouraging a discussion and exchange of ideas and tips. The first question/comment comes from Jeanine aka NaturalMomma. Here is what she had to say:

Hi Kristina!

I have a ques­tion. How do you find enough time in your day for home­school­ing and writ­ing and meals and …?

I am mak­ing a bit of a switch, myself, in that I am want­ing to write more, work one-on-one with clients less all in an effort to (1)live my pur­pose and (2)take my biz to the next level.

But as I have begun to spend more time writ­ing mini-books and blog posts and reports and email follow-up mes­sages, my son has begun to hate my computer!

Jea­nine

My immediate response to Jeanine was a short reply which read, “You are not alone”. I stand by that still. You are not alone Jeanine no matter how it feels. Before becoming a work-at-home mom, I worked full time as an  English teacher (9th grade) and for my daughter’s first year, I was also finishing grad school. I was a wreck.  I left the house at 7:30 am and returned home most nights after 9:00 pm. On the nights that I was home earlier she was in bed by 5:30-6:00 EVERY NIGHT! I kid you not. I barely saw her and I was miserable.

After making the transition to WAHM I thought that life would get easier. I thought that I would have more time for her, but when you work from home it is even harder to draw boundaries at times. I was working 40-50 hour weeks trying to build a web design and consulting business and that left VERY little time for anything else. And again I was miserable.

Then I tried to restructure my life according to worked for so many others. It wasn’t until I took Michele Dortch’s “Get Your Groove Back eClass*” that I was able to put things into perspective. Michele runs The Integrated Mother blog and network and provides so many tips to help working moms of all kinds figure it out. But for me it was the eClass that allowed me to focus on what I wanted and what I needed to do to make my life work.

The bottom line is this, you have to redefine what “getting it all done” means for you and not for anyone else. As much as I wanted to be supermom, I learned that my house is not always going to be neat and that dinner will sometimes have to be cereal and fruit in a bowl. My daughter, who will be four in April, HATES my computer, but she has to learn that sometimes Mommy has to work.

The biggest step that I made in the last 6-8 months is that I set a schedule. I sent an email to current clients outlining my EXACT schedule. Because my husband is off from his job Sunday-Tuesday, Sunday and Monday are our weekends. I do not work unless it is an emergency. Here are my office hours and the message I send all clients:

Sunday and Monday
Closed
Tuesday
By Appointment Only
Wednesday-Saturday
9am-10pm; 1pm-5pm

Please direct all business related calls to my business line. Voicemail and Call Forwarding are activated on this line. And as always, you can reach me by email.

I try not to work while she is awake and I am home alone. My husband schedule affords me that (he begins working at 3pm). If I need to do so, I have special activities for her just for those times. For instance, she gets to watch Wall-E on my  portable Blu-Ray player in her room. This is a treat for her because she does not have a TV in her room and NEVER gets to use the portable player. At other times I allow her to paint alone (makes her feel like a big girl) or play a game on my laptop. Don’t get me wrong, she still manages to need me the most while I’m in the midst of a call with a client, but I also inform my clients that I work from home and that every day is “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” for us.

I left teaching because I wanted to focus on my daughter and because I wanted to build a business on my terms. While I can compromise every now and again, my work hours are pretty much set in stone. You wouldn’t try to get the oil changed on you car after the garage is closed, right? It’s not different. If it’s a problem for a client, then I refer them to someone else. I would rather lose a client than lose my mind!

For house duties these are some things that help:

(1) Weekly Meal menus: plan ahead

(2) Crockpot: especially in the cold weather. We eat a lot of soup, stews, and chili. But works well for Pot roast, oatmeal and more.

(3) Counter-top electric roaster:  Cuts roasting time by almost 1 hour for a full chicken. Less energy used than the oven. Easier to clean.

(4) Homeschool Fun Basket: educational supplies/activities that daughter does n0t play with daily. Handy for emergency distraction.

(5) Music: take 10 minutes and dance like crazy with your child. Gives him attention and allows for you to get some exercise and stress-relief.

(6) Include your child in as many household activities as possible. My daughter loves shooting baskets with dirty clothes into the washer. She puts the silverware away when the dishwasher is clean. She feeds the dog.

(7) I give my daughter a damp cloth and she dust the wooden furniture. She’s been doing it since she was 2.

Jeanine, I hope this helps. There is no exact science; trial by fire is the only method that I know of for figuring this out. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just take things day-by-day and it will work out.

October 23rd, 2009

Know the Facts: Google Was My Frienemy

I’m a bit of a knowledge junkie. If I hear something new or see something that I am unsure of, you can bet that it is only a matter of time before I am on Google searching the depths of the Internet for as much information as I can find. In fact, when we lost our first daughter Samantha after going into preterm labor, I searched every where to learn more about this thing that was supposedly responsible – an incompetent cervix. I learned that the diagnosis was ambiguous and not necessarily a cause for our loss. Suffice it to say, I also learned about tons of other reasons behind my loss.

So when we got pregnant again 2 years later, I had my eyes glued to Google. I learned what questions to ask at my first prenatal appointment and what to expect from the cerclage that I would have to have at 12 weeks. I also learned how to survive my 5 month bed-rest and the hyperemesis that lasted for much longer. I even learned about my breastfeeding options.

Unfortunately, I also learned about other things as well. I learned about the extreme situations when cerclages were botched or labor started before they were removed. I learned about some of the most extreme cases of infant mortality and kidnappings and of babies being switched at birth.

I was a mess because as much as I knew that most of the events that I read about were not very common, I also knew that these things were possible. I asked my OBGYN about hidden twins and demanded that the hospital show me their security system for the nursery. It was so bad that my OBGYN and my Perinatologist begged me to stay off of the Internet.

Information can be a great thing, but too much can be dangerous.

September 8th, 2009

Suave, Take Me Away

Yes, I know that line is usually connected to another product, but I have never felt like that after using that stuff. It took a shower with Suave® Naturals Body Wash Apricot Exfoliating Shower Gel to get me uttering those words. See, I am a bit of a shower snob. While I love the scents of body washes and such, I usually stay away from them because my skin is very dry and sensitive. Not to mention that I have severe allergies and most fruity, flowery scented things irritate my asthma symptoms. So, when BSM Media offered me the chance to try out a few of Suave’s products, I was a little hesitant.

But oh how things change. The Apricot Exfoliating Shower Gel is like a mini-spa in a bottle. The scent is soft and pleasant and my skin felt smooth. After using it in my morning shower I was rejuvenated and my body was awake. Suffice it to say, I did not experience any side effects either- no dry patches and rashes like I normally get from some of the more expensive items. And even the Cocoa Butter with Shea Lotion was a pleasant surprise. It was thick and provided my feet, hands, and elbows with the coverage needed to stay moisturized all day long.

Now I have to be honest with you- I don’t normally pamper myself. In fact, showering on a daily basis is usually my rest and relaxation time, but even then, I am usually rushed by the constant “Mommy. Mommy. Mommy…,” calls from my toddler. I barely get a chance to take in the fragrance of the soap before I have to jump out to manage some 3 -year-old catastrophe. But Suave® and Holly Robinson-Pete are encouraging moms to take a few minutes out for ourselves and Shower Yourself Beautiful this summer. And while the summer is almost over, I thought some of her tips may serve us all well as we get ready to tackle the hustle and bustle of the upcoming months.

Robinson-Pete suggests that moms wear a simple, light fragrance- like one from the Suave® line of body washes- to feel more beautiful. Or how about sending yourself some beautiful flowers just to remind yourself that you are loved! She even suggest scheduling tea time for your self by taking a few minutes to enjoy a cup of herbal tea and some tea sandwiches. And of course, there is always the relaxing bath (at night when the children are asleep, if your house is anything like mine) with candles, and the nice fragrance of Suave® Naturals Lavender Vanilla Calming Body Wash.

I think these are some good tips! but, I want to know what you do to pamper yourself. Starting today, September 9 and running until September 20- the  “They’re Back to School, Pamper Yourself Giveaway.” You will earn the chance to win a lovely collection of Suave® Products to help you get back into your routine without stress.

To Enter:

(1 Entry) Leave a comment here telling me what you do to unwind when life gets to stressful.

(1 Additional Entry) Tweet this contest using the text below:

While the kids’ are away, Moms will play! Pamper yourself with Suave Giveaway http://www.momontherise.com/2009/08/17/suave-take-me-away/

(1 Additional Entry) Friend me on Facebook and Post this giveaway to all of your friends.

August 15th, 2009

Love, Hugs, Peace Movement at Build-A-Bear Giveaway Winner

Well, I had a very disappointing turnout for my giveaway this time. I am going to chalk it up to summer being very busy and people not really having time to enter contest. yep! That had to be the case. At any rate, thank you to all who entered. I placed all four names into Random.org and the winner is:

Janet Carpenter

Janet, please contact me by Wednesday August 19 with your mailing address and I will send out your gift card right away.