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September 26th, 2008
I’m stressed. I’m stressed and feeling rather down and under-appreciated and definitely not respected. See, I don’t have a lot of friends. I have kept my circle small because there has always been drama when I was surrounded by too many. However, the ones that I have are dropping the ball lately. They are treating me like crap and it is finally starting to take its toll.
I am designing a web page for a , um, friend- have been for almost 6 months now. I’m not kidding. Completed sites normally take me about 2-4 weeks, but this one has been in progress for 6 months now. It’s not that I have been procrastinating. I have been working pretty much every day for more the 5 hours a day. Well, that is until recently. See, the friend is not paying me. The friend is not paying me at all. And despite my Virgo tendencies to want everything to be perfect, somewhere in mid August I realized that this person is a taker. I realized that this person is not worth the stress. And while I am not going to stop (I’ve put too much work in this), I just don’t care anymore. The site will not function well because this person does not respect my expertise in a field that I have been learning for the last 10 years. This person does not want to compromise and, so, I will do what is wanted despite what I know is best. In addition, this site is for a business and while I am busting my ass to get this site up and running, I know that the owner is not willing to do what it takes to get the business going. I know that it will never be successful. And so be it.
But what bothers me the most is that the person I am VOLUNTEERING my services to, has no regard for my personal time or space. The late night phone calls, the annoyed tone when I don’t jump when asked, lack of concern for what is going on in my life has made me ponder if it is in my best interest to continue the friendship at all.
And then, there are my other so-called friend (my in-real-life-friends). It seems that since every one knows that I am no longer teaching and am doing web and print design for a living, I am expected to do things for free. I get emails like the ones below. They are actual emails that I have received in the last week.
Kristina,
My daughter is having a birthday party next month. I want you to make her invitation. You don’t have to get a gift, just design the invitation. Thanks! I need it by next Monday.
K-
I want to do a blog. Can you set it up for me. I know you must be bored being home. Just loook for some images for me and let me know what I owe you for them.
Hey girl! What’s up? I miss you. Sorry I haven’t called or emailed before today. I need new business cards. You do that right? I was going to go to a service, but realized that I had an in with you.
I don’t mind helping people out, but it should not be expected. In fact, knowing that I am no longer receiving a steady paycheck should be reason enough for them NOT to ask me to provide services for free. I swear I’m at the point where I DREAD checking my email. I mean I really dread it.
Of course, when I say “no” these poor excuses for friends are suddenly too busy to talk. And when they do call, it is only to ask me for something or to vent to me about their lives. God forbid I need to vent- suddenly the kids are calling, or the dog needs to be walked, or it’s too late.
The fact of the matter is that the people who I call friends now are only concerned with one thing: themselves. They don’t care what is going on in my life.
And that hurts.
I do, however, have to say that I love my internet friends. Renee, who has never met me in real life, took time to send me a freelance writing job posting for educators simply because she knew I needed money. She is willing to hold my hand on our flight to Disney. Mommy at MommyDaddy Blog offered to help me learn to make money off of my blog although we have never met. When I was pregnant and on bed rest for 5 months and completely stressed it was not my so-called friends who soothed my fears. Kristen, Mom-101, and Ninja Poodles took me under their wings. They talked me through some tough times.
I guess there are still nice people in the world. I just wish they lived closer. LOL.
September 13th, 2008
I have to answer all of the following using no more than one word. This should be interesting.
1. Where is your cell phone? somewhere
2. Where is your significant other? work
3. Your hair color? black
4. Your mother? Insane
5. Your father? Dead
6. Your favorite thing? Music
7. Your dream last night? Millions
8. Your dream/goal? Skinnier
9. The room you’re in? Livingroom
10. Your hobby? Blogging
11. Your fear? Planes
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Arizona
13. Where were you last night? Bed
14. What you’re not? Pretty
15. One of your wish-list items? Camera
16. Where you grew up? Bronx
17. The last thing you did? Pee
18. What are you wearing? Jammies
19. Your TV? Old
20. Your pet? none
21. Your computer? Mac
22. Your mood? Annoyed
23. Missing someone? Always
24. Your car? Altima
25. Something you’re not wearing? Bra
26. Favorite store? Apple
27. Your summer? Quick
28. Love someone? Madly
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Before
31. Last time you cried? Wednesday
Now for passing on the award!
The rules of this award are:
1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs of the people you’ve nominated
Now…for the nominations…drum roll please…
- The Wise Young Mommy
- Vivid Description: Fatherhood defined!
- Always, Alli
- Confessions of a Diet Coke Addict
- Mrs. Mecomber’s Scrapbook
- Erica B’s DIY Style
- Don’t Eat My Buchela!
August 26th, 2008
I have been trying to get my business of the ground for a while now. Back in February, when I first realized that I could actually make money designing web sites, I offered my services to anyone who even appeared to need one. An acquaintance is also self-employed and in a field that was very useful to me. He needed a website; I needed his services (and get your mind out of the gutter- I’m a married woman). We decided to exchange services. However, I seemed to have gotten the short end of the stick.
His services are only necessary every six months and do not cost nearly as much as I would charge for a web design. Once he completes his services, I cannot go back and request changes. It is a done deal. And it only takes on day. Web Design, on the other hand, can be a very long and tedious process. And it’s hard to set limits when most people don’t understand the process.
So, the first site that I did was good. Despite the fact that I did not agree with some of the choices he made for the site, I complied because the customer is always right. There were some other minor issues in that he did not get information to me in the alloted timeframe (very bad) and he is somewhat of a know-it-all. But, alas we got things done and I was more than happy to add this job to my portfolio.
Over the course of this time I used his services twice. The first time I was very satisfied. The second time, he kind of pushed me into a direction that I was not 100% comfortable with, but I went with it and was satisfied. The the third time never happened for some reason. When I suggested that we give his site a makeover, he was all too excited to offer his services to me again. That was the first sign of trouble.
Over the next two months and a countless exchange of emails, I realized that this person did not have any real respect for what web design entails. In fact, he was/is very selfish and does not care that I am trying to build a business. I have to market and build some free templates. Did I mention that I have not used his services again because he keeps flaking out on me? In fact, he has told me that he was going to meet me and has not shown.
Well Monday was the final straw. I received an email asking me to change and already approved site that has been coded, uploaded, and except for a few minor changes, completed. I decided to let him know that I would not be making the changes he requested because he is taking advantage of the situation. What he is asking me to do would be a complete makeover when, after asking 10 times if he liked it, I was told 10 times that it was perfect.
I told him in not-so-nice terms what was on my mind.
Was i wrong?
August 2nd, 2008
So you know how you have that one friend who is competitive with you about everything and tells you that her child, at 2 years 5 months, can write a paragraph, mow the lawn and cook a 7 course meal? And you know how she is supermom because she tells you that she is and you know how no matter how many times her child has fallen and knocked her head up, he does not take her to the doctor because the doctor won’t do anything that she herself can’t do? And you know how the child is actually pretty advanced but is being held back because every time she tries to speak the mother puts a pacifier in her mouth to shut her up so that now all she sounds like is a mumbling fool but despite this, she continues to try to out do you on everything. Like how when you share that YOUR child has developed a new skill, she has to tell you that her child has been doing that since she was in the womb? And you know how when she tells you that her child knows the alphabet because she can sing the song from start to finish you start wishing that your child would show others all of the things that she can do? And then suddenly, your child walks over the the wall with the alphabet border and points to a letter and says “i” and it is an “i” and then she says “m” and she is pointing to a “m” and she does it AGAIN with a “y” and and “x” and then your friends asks her daughter “what letter is this” and her daughter looks as confused as can be and when she asks again, your daughter says, without hesitation “W”?
Well, that is what I call “KidSlapped” and man it is fun to watch.
