An Open Letter to Moronic Fashion Designers for Children
Dear MFDC:
I love to go shopping for my daughter but it is becoming more of a hassle than it is worth. People who know me think that I am overly-protective of my daughter. In fact, sometimes, I think that I may be too, but then I go clothes shopping for her and realize that there is no such thing as being too protective. I am a parent and protecting my child is what I should be doing. But I am feel like I am figthing against corporate giants who want me to fail.
I did not think that I had would have to sayl this to adults, but my daughter is 30 months (2 years 6 months). She does not need a two-piece bathing suit. She does not need a thong, or a tube top, or really short skirts. She does not need high heels, or wedges, or flip flops. She does not need pants that say “Juicy” or “Apple Bottom” or anything for that matter.
She is a child.
She needs clothes that do not sexualize her.
She needs to develop a strong sense of self before her self-esteem is challenged through thoughtless marketing and idiotic objectifications.
She needs to be a child.
And you should be ashamed.
Thank you,
An Irate Parent
Introducing My Racist, Anti-Semitic, Pot Smoker
My daughter has a knack for making me so proud. And that’s the way it should be, right? But then, then there are times when she embarrasses me so much that I want to grab her and run to a remote cabin deep in the mountains of Siberia (are there mountains in Siberia?). SWHS is talking more and more, but if you are not used to her strange pronunciations, it is easy to get the wrong idea.
Like when we are walking through Walmart and she sees a random pair of Flip-Flops and starts screaming at the top of her lungs, “Gook Mom, Jews. Jews.”
Or, when she sees a pile of books and runs to grab one screaming, “Mommy, Wead. Wead.”
These are the times that I hang my head low. Someone is bound to call Child Services.