"Mom on the Rise"
the Traveling Homeschooler
by Kristina Brooke
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February 26th, 2010

Happy Birthday Nicola

In Loving Memory of Nicola Diana Kennedy

You would have been 37 today and for reasons still unknown you were taken from us just 9 days after you turned 36. Life has been so hard since then. I tried to be strong- to keep Jaida and Kayla together to ease the pain that they were feeling. I have endured criticism from many- both to my face and behind my back- for things that were beyond my control and even now I am sure that people are whispering about how I am not doing what I should to make sure that everyone is OK. But, and it has taken most of the year for me to realize this, none of that matters because when it comes right down to it, no one can ever truly understand the bond between sisters.

You and Caroline are the first friends I ever knew. You were my protectors when life was scary and our bond was so much stronger than the future arguments that would tear us all apart for so many years. We are survivors. Foster parents, orphanages, adoption, daddy’s death…. Hell, we survived Momma Kennedy and her strict parenting! We were always there for eachother even if that meant not being there at all.

No one can ever truly understand that bond and no one can take that away.

I miss you. I miss the times that we shared- our dance routines, hair and makeup lessons, sneaking out to Skate Key and the Fever and your advice on how to deal with our mother. I miss your smile and your willingness to help everyone- even those who did nothing but take advantage of you. I miss your passion to live and your hot temper. I miss the phone calls and our talks about sex and all the things that we were told were naughty. I long so much for the days of Clear Pool Camp, double dutch at Grandma’s, and you braiding my hair so tightly that I would cry just from mom telling you to do my hair.

I wish that I could have protected you from all of the chaos, but you wouldn’t let me. You never let me forget that you were my big sister. I wish that I could tell you that I love you and hear you tell me again. I wish that you and Caroline could have said the things that you both really wanted to say to each other. I wish that we could have all just hugged each other one last time.

Nicola, I miss you so very much. I have let go of all of anger and the hurt. Caroline and I understand now. We will honor our sisterhood because we learned from you just how short life is and how much regret weighs.

I am eternally grateful for the time we shared. I was blessed to have you and to have known the real you. We will forever be the Kennedy Girls and I will love you always. Happy Birthday.

Your baby sister,
Kristina

6 comments

6 Responses to “Happy Birthday Nicola”

Kris Cain

(((Kristina))), I am so sorry about your sister. I know this must be a very hard day. You hang in there.

Kris
Kris Cain´s last blog ..Online hosting for business video

kristinabrookeTwitter:momontherise

Thank you Kris. I’m hanging in there and finding that writing about helps more than I ever imagined.

t. allen-mercado

I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I commend you for finding your voice and allowing it to carry from your lips the message of your heart, even when others may think it’s too late. (Hugs)
t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Is It Thursday, Already?

kristinabrookeTwitter:momontherise

@T- thank you so much for your kind words. I am struggling to find peace through all of this but I won”t give up. I’m learning every day.

Evelyn Perallon

Thanks for sharing Kristina,writing about your sister is the best way to help you find comfort. Here I am sharing about the lost of my brother and words that came to my heart to share….
I always write something to give myself comfort. I lost two sisters and a Brother.It may be a long time they have passed on still they are missed dearly. My brother I missed out in seeing him be all he could have been if he were here.. He would have been a mighty man of God with a beautiful wife and four lovely children….I miss the brother who would have been a loving dad and loving grandfather since he left four lovely children who are all grown now, two of which are parents themselves…..I know the difference God would have made in their life if only they would of had the chance of living with a Father who loved and followed the path God wanted for him… Sadly true we all missed out on having him love, laugh and live life more abundantly enjoying the gift it is to have God present in ones life…..One thing is true if God is missing in our living all that gives true meaning will not be present…no peace, no joy, no love and the list goes on… We miss him so much… Especially our mom I know she may also think if he would have followed the path the Lord wanted him to follow he may have still been with us today….We still have hope that their will be surprises in Heaven and all our love ones who have departed among them, HE will be there to greet us and welcome us home to the lovely mansions Jesus has prepared and promised for all of us his children….in loving memory of my brother….
Jose Rodriguez/October 14,1993
Like Soldiers in the battle field bond together and stand strong move forward faster than ever fight until the end giving God the Victory over Evil the battle for the souls will be won… Mightier is our Lord’s battle with His mighty army of Angels fighting 24/7 all that can not be seen to save our souls ….Amen

Carol

Kristina—This was beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss, and I am glad to read that you have found some relief in the written word. Hugs to you and your family, I hope that in time the memory of your beautiful friendship will bring more joy to your hurt and slowly replace the pain of her loss. Kisses –Carol
Carol´s last blog ..Stage Door Tour: Radio City Music Hall

{reflect.rethink.redo.}