Happiest Mother’s Day Ever
Mother’s Day has always been filled with stress and sadness. My mother and I don’t get along and even after the passing of my eldest sister, our relationship has remained strained. It is a situation that I have come to accept- sometimes the best way to maintain one’s sanity is to remove themselves from the forces that are threatening that very sanity.
My first mother’s day was in 2006. I was recovering from a c-section and my daughter was only home from the NICU for about a week. I was in a daze and Mother’s Day had very little meaning for me then- after all I had only become a mother on April 27. But, my in-laws tried to celebrate and then me, my husband and our new daughter headed down to visit my mom 45 minutes away. It was a tense visit but it went rather smoothly (hospital strength Motrin and spending 2 of the 3.5 hours that we were there pumping breastmilk can do that).
My second Mother’s Day was spent cleaning my house and calling Poison Control when my daughter swallowed a packet of Silica. My husband had to work and with no transportation when he is at work, I stayed home alone and cooked and cleaned. My daughter was only a year old.
The next year my father-in-law (happier times) and my sister-in-law put together a brunch for all the mom’s. We had just moved into a new apartment and I was feeling like starting anew. In one of the last attempts to revive the relationship with my mother, I invited her to join us. I spent that morning running around like a chicken with my head cut off because I couldn’t find anything to wear that would please my mother and stave off any sideways glances and back handed compliments from her. I dressed my daughter perfectly knowing that any little thing would bring a barrage of criticisms about my daughter’s weight, my parenting skills, my hair, my weight, and my husband. Luckily, my husband made sure that once we arrived at my in-laws my glass and my belly stayed filled with mimosas.
Last year Mother’s Day came and went without a thought or a smile. My sister died on March 8 and my father-in-law on May 4. We buried him on May 7 (the first annual Mom’s Nite Out) and despite the sadness, I spent the weeks before coding and finishing the site for the event. But even with my close proximity to an event that celebrated Mother’s Day, we did not. We cried and grieved and tried to make sense of all that had happened.
I wasn’t expecting much this year. My husband makes me feel special all year round and my lack of connection with my own mother has made Mother’s Day a bit of a non-issue for me. And in true form, my family was experiencing yet another health issue as my mother-in-law is in the hospital recovering from triple bypass and a heart valve replacement. We were supposed to have a small BBQ with my husband’s sisters. But what I got was so much more.
I realized that while my feelings towards my mother are far from good, I am at a place where I have found peace with all of the things that have happened in part due to my husband’s family and my role as a mother. My mother-in-law and I are very close and I have come to view her more as my mom. My sister-in-laws and I are very close and while their love will never replace the love for my own sister who passed, it is strong and pure and unconditional. My other sister who lives in Florida and I are closer than ever before and I am unbelievably thankful for her friendship.
And my husband. My daughter. They are amazing. They made me breakfast in bed and we all snuggled after we had eaten playing a very competitive game of “I Spy”. We visited hubby’s mom in the rehab facility and she looked so good. She was full of life and healthier than I had seen her fore sometime. We went up to his mom’s house for a BBQ with his sisters and they fed me such good food that I felt like a stuffed pig last night. Ohm and this time the mimosas were not there to numb me. They were an added addition to a great day.
It was the best Mother’s Day ever and I have never felt more loved.
What a beautiful picture. I’m so glad to hear that this year Mother’s Day was filled of great memories. Sounds like a wonderful day spent with loved ones. That’s great your MIL was in good spirits.
Thank you! It was so great. I have a feeling this year will be so much better as a whole than previous years. I hope so because I can’t take anymore bad news. Thanks for visiting.
Thank you. I am going to start posting more about my family here. You have inspired me.
The relationships we have with our mother’s may not be what we longed for but we can sure give that to our daughters and we’re okay with that! It only makes us stronger despite the pain it causes. At the end of the day our husbands and children put a smile on our faces, warmth in our hearts and a feeling that beats what we should have had from our very own! xoxox
BTW…the pic is GORGEOUS!
.-= Vic´s last blog ..Champagne Saturday Vlog =-.
I’m sooo glad to hear that this Mother’s Day was extra special for you, since the past one’s were so difficult. Also, what a blessing that your relationships with your in-laws are so positive (I wish I could say the same).
I hope future Mother’s Days just continue to get better and better for you. You certainly deserve that and more!
.-= Yakini´s last blog ..Taking Advantage of a Gorgeous Saturday =-.
Yakini, thanks I was definitely an unexpected surprise. I am sorry that your relationship with your in-laws in not good. Mine wasn’t always but it has definitely gotten better over the years. I hope your MD was good too.