Mother’s Day has always been filled with stress and sadness. My mother and I don’t get along and even after the passing of my eldest sister, our relationship has remained strained. It is a situation that I have come to accept- sometimes the best way to maintain one’s sanity is to remove themselves from the forces that are threatening that very sanity.

My first mother’s day was in 2006. I was recovering from a c-section and my daughter was only home from the NICU for about a week. I was in a daze and Mother’s Day had very little meaning for me then- after all I had only become a mother on April 27. But, my in-laws tried to celebrate and then me, my husband and our new daughter headed down to visit my mom 45 minutes away. It was a tense visit but it went rather smoothly (hospital strength Motrin and spending 2 of the 3.5 hours that we were there pumping breastmilk can do that).

My second Mother’s Day was spent cleaning my house and calling Poison Control when my daughter swallowed a packet of Silica. My husband had to work and with no transportation when he is at work, I stayed home alone and cooked and cleaned. My daughter was only a year old.

The next year my father-in-law (happier times) and my sister-in-law put together a brunch for all the mom’s. We had just moved into a new apartment and I was feeling like starting anew. In one of the last attempts to revive the relationship with my mother, I invited her to join us. I spent that morning running around like a chicken with my head cut off because I couldn’t find anything to wear that would please my mother and stave off any sideways… Continue reading →