June 22nd, 2010

The power of praise

I was recently hired as a social media manager for a regional company, a job that it seems I was born for. As you know, for the last two years I have been building my web design and social media business. Unfortunately, I have never been good at promoting myself so while I have managed to find some great clients, I have also been my greatest roadblock. However, through some great connections that I have made, and with the support of numerous peoplewho believe in me, I was given a great opportunity to do what I love.

The funny thing is that this has created a domino effect. Not only do I feel that I am finally being rewarded for my skills and knowledge, but I feel great about myself. I am more determined now to take over the world.

It’s funny how things work, right? How suddenly you can start to feel more positive about yourself because someone simply says, “good job” or “I believe in you!”

Don’t forget to tell your children these things every now and then. They are powerful and too often left unsaid.

March 31st, 2010

Finding the Time

When I decided to shift to my niche, I asked readers to leave a question for me to answer in a blog post. It’s my way of encouraging a discussion and exchange of ideas and tips. The first question/comment comes from Jeanine aka NaturalMomma. Here is what she had to say:

Hi Kristina!

I have a ques­tion. How do you find enough time in your day for home­school­ing and writ­ing and meals and …?

I am mak­ing a bit of a switch, myself, in that I am want­ing to write more, work one-on-one with clients less all in an effort to (1)live my pur­pose and (2)take my biz to the next level.

But as I have begun to spend more time writ­ing mini-books and blog posts and reports and email follow-up mes­sages, my son has begun to hate my computer!

Jea­nine

My immediate response to Jeanine was a short reply which read, “You are not alone”. I stand by that still. You are not alone Jeanine no matter how it feels. Before becoming a work-at-home mom, I worked full time as an  English teacher (9th grade) and for my daughter’s first year, I was also finishing grad school. I was a wreck.  I left the house at 7:30 am and returned home most nights after 9:00 pm. On the nights that I was home earlier she was in bed by 5:30-6:00 EVERY NIGHT! I kid you not. I barely saw her and I was miserable.

After making the transition to WAHM I thought that life would get easier. I thought that I would have more time for her, but when you work from home it is even harder to draw boundaries at times. I was working 40-50 hour weeks trying to build a web design and consulting business and that left VERY little time for anything else. And again I was miserable.

Then I tried to restructure my life according to worked for so many others. It wasn’t until I took Michele Dortch’s “Get Your Groove Back eClass*” that I was able to put things into perspective. Michele runs The Integrated Mother blog and network and provides so many tips to help working moms of all kinds figure it out. But for me it was the eClass that allowed me to focus on what I wanted and what I needed to do to make my life work.

The bottom line is this, you have to redefine what “getting it all done” means for you and not for anyone else. As much as I wanted to be supermom, I learned that my house is not always going to be neat and that dinner will sometimes have to be cereal and fruit in a bowl. My daughter, who will be four in April, HATES my computer, but she has to learn that sometimes Mommy has to work.

The biggest step that I made in the last 6-8 months is that I set a schedule. I sent an email to current clients outlining my EXACT schedule. Because my husband is off from his job Sunday-Tuesday, Sunday and Monday are our weekends. I do not work unless it is an emergency. Here are my office hours and the message I send all clients:

Sunday and Monday
Closed
Tuesday
By Appointment Only
Wednesday-Saturday
9am-10pm; 1pm-5pm

Please direct all business related calls to my business line. Voicemail and Call Forwarding are activated on this line. And as always, you can reach me by email.

I try not to work while she is awake and I am home alone. My husband schedule affords me that (he begins working at 3pm). If I need to do so, I have special activities for her just for those times. For instance, she gets to watch Wall-E on my  portable Blu-Ray player in her room. This is a treat for her because she does not have a TV in her room and NEVER gets to use the portable player. At other times I allow her to paint alone (makes her feel like a big girl) or play a game on my laptop. Don’t get me wrong, she still manages to need me the most while I’m in the midst of a call with a client, but I also inform my clients that I work from home and that every day is “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” for us.

I left teaching because I wanted to focus on my daughter and because I wanted to build a business on my terms. While I can compromise every now and again, my work hours are pretty much set in stone. You wouldn’t try to get the oil changed on you car after the garage is closed, right? It’s not different. If it’s a problem for a client, then I refer them to someone else. I would rather lose a client than lose my mind!

For house duties these are some things that help:

(1) Weekly Meal menus: plan ahead

(2) Crockpot: especially in the cold weather. We eat a lot of soup, stews, and chili. But works well for Pot roast, oatmeal and more.

(3) Counter-top electric roaster:  Cuts roasting time by almost 1 hour for a full chicken. Less energy used than the oven. Easier to clean.

(4) Homeschool Fun Basket: educational supplies/activities that daughter does n0t play with daily. Handy for emergency distraction.

(5) Music: take 10 minutes and dance like crazy with your child. Gives him attention and allows for you to get some exercise and stress-relief.

(6) Include your child in as many household activities as possible. My daughter loves shooting baskets with dirty clothes into the washer. She puts the silverware away when the dishwasher is clean. She feeds the dog.

(7) I give my daughter a damp cloth and she dust the wooden furniture. She’s been doing it since she was 2.

Jeanine, I hope this helps. There is no exact science; trial by fire is the only method that I know of for figuring this out. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just take things day-by-day and it will work out.

February 14th, 2010

Valentine’s Day Purge

Andrew and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Much like her, we choose to only indulge in discounted chocolates the day after.  For us love is about the every day not about the forced emotional displays of affection. Social Media, as much as I love it, is much like Valentine’s Day- forced relationship fluff. Lately, I have been feeling suffocated by my online life. So, in keeping with my desire to be fluff-free I have been doing a little purging.

Twitter Purge

I have multiple Twitter accounts but @momontherise is my main account for this blogging. Unfortunately, it is also one of the reasons that I haven’t really been into Twitter lately. I was following so may people that I really felt there was not personal involvement. When Google introduced Buzz I was immediately drawn to it because of the personal nature of the network. You connect to people right away in part because you can follow conversations and such. As I talked about this with a few online friends, one mentioned how she had unfollowed every one in her Twitter stream and started adding only those who she wanted to connect with. She pointed me to http://www.unfolloweveryone.com and I immediately decided that this was the greatest thing since WiFi. I followed suit and went from follow over 5,0o0 people to none to 150. I am only adding those who I actually talk to- those who are more interested in selling me their business or services without connecting on a personal level will have to go. I find it very difficult to function in the noise.

Facebook Purge

Since refocusing on building my businesses (kristinabrooke.org and Moms/We of Hue), I decided to extend my purging to facebook too. I started by removing myself from all the games that I played on the site (Cafe World and Mafia Wars are addicting), blocking the applications that were too distracting, and then I removed over 100 “friends’ from high school, college, and previous jobs. The fact of the matter is there is no point being connected to people who you never really liked or connected with in real life anyway. I hated HS and really have bad memories of a lot of my so called friends from those years. Having them on my FB page made me second guess what I was posting and it was just too stifling. So, I broke up with them. The games were eating away at my productivity and I had to remove them too.

Next Steps

Prior to writing this post I opened up my Gmail account and decided to unsubscribe from all the mailing lists, newsletters, and other groups that I get email from but never read. I am tired of opening my Inbox and finding over 1000 messages most of which I delete without reading anyway. If I don’t care, I am not going to subscribe.

I am also going to clean out my Bloglines account and remove the blogs that don’t update or the ones that I really don’t read. I just don’t have the energy to deal with the overcrowding.

I’ll be writing about my In-Real-Life friends Purge soon too.

Are you purging?  How?

December 23rd, 2009

Purge and plan

One of my biggest pet peeves is immaturity. Adults who cannot take criticism, chalk every negative opinion up to some trival reason, and those who don’t understand professionalism fall into this pet peeve category. I have spent much of 2009 giving people the chance to shine despite being warned that they were badseeds. But no more! I’m done.

For the first time in years I’m drawing a line. I’m not playing nice anymore and I’m going with my gut. In both my professional life and personal I’m drawing boundaries.

It won’t be pretty but it has to be done. Be prepared.