October 23rd, 2009

Know the Facts: Google Was My Frienemy

I’m a bit of a knowledge junkie. If I hear something new or see something that I am unsure of, you can bet that it is only a matter of time before I am on Google searching the depths of the Internet for as much information as I can find. In fact, when we lost our first daughter Samantha after going into preterm labor, I searched every where to learn more about this thing that was supposedly responsible – an incompetent cervix. I learned that the diagnosis was ambiguous and not necessarily a cause for our loss. Suffice it to say, I also learned about tons of other reasons behind my loss.

So when we got pregnant again 2 years later, I had my eyes glued to Google. I learned what questions to ask at my first prenatal appointment and what to expect from the cerclage that I would have to have at 12 weeks. I also learned how to survive my 5 month bed-rest and the hyperemesis that lasted for much longer. I even learned about my breastfeeding options.

Unfortunately, I also learned about other things as well. I learned about the extreme situations when cerclages were botched or labor started before they were removed. I learned about some of the most extreme cases of infant mortality and kidnappings and of babies being switched at birth.

I was a mess because as much as I knew that most of the events that I read about were not very common, I also knew that these things were possible. I asked my OBGYN about hidden twins and demanded that the hospital show me their security system for the nursery. It was so bad that my OBGYN and my Perinatologist begged me to stay off of the Internet.

Information can be a great thing, but too much can be dangerous.

September 25th, 2009

Know the Facts: Bringing Home Baby

We were so nervous after my daughter was born. She came a little over 4 weeks early, just days before the safety of 37 weeks. Much of my pregnancy was stressful due to Hypermesis and a previous loss at 19.5 weeks. So, when the doctors admitted me into the hospital hoping to stop my preterm labor from progressing any further, I was a tight bundle of nerves. Luckily, after all the craziness of my labor, Mya was born with minor breathing issues and jaundice. She had to stay in the NICU for 6 days and four days after my C-section I had to go home without her.

It was scary, but truthfully, I was in a daze. I barely remember the days before she came home. Those days were filled with me expressing milk to take to the hospital and freeze at home, sleeping, and completely trusting her doctors. It was all that I could do.

When we finally took Mya home, I was so excited and protective. I wanted to make sure that Andrew and I bonded with her right away. I forbade visits from family- we were living with my in-laws so that was rather hard to do- and I made sure that we worked out a schedule so that I could pump enough to build up my milk supply. I chose to exclusively pump breast milk for my daughter so building a supply demanding a lot of time. I also spent many a night holding a mirror near her nostrils to make sure that she was breathing. I slept with the phone in my hand just in case I had to call the doctor because she hiccuped three times in a row.

For me, the most important thing was learning to understand my daughter- learning what she wanted and what she needed before she cried or at least knowing enough to be able to respond quickly to her crying. To make things a little easier for me, I decided that I would carry my daughter in a sling because the ability to hold her close at all times made me feel better.

And of course, I had a great support system. My husband made sure to give me enough time to pump, my father-in-law had the magic arms that would put Mya to sleep as soon as he picked her up. And my mother in law who helped keep me sane with stories of her screw-ups as a first-time-mom.

June 25th, 2009

Know the Facts: Dads Can Aide in Easing The Stress of a Difficult Pregnancy

This post was supposed to go up on Father’s Day but I am so out of whack lately.  Forgive me for the lateness because the fact is, understanding how Daddy can be hands-on during a difficult pregnancy and even after birth is always relevant.

My pregnancy in 2005 was a difficult one. My husband and I had experienced a previous loss due to pre-term labor. The innocence of pregnancy was long gone and when we entered this pregnancy with fear. In addition to carrying the knowledge that pregnancy is not always perfect, I had to have a cerclage to help prevent pre-term labor, was borderline gestational-diabetic and I was also diagnosed with Hyperemesis- severe nausea that is often times plagued with dehydration and repeated trips to the hospital. Needless to say, our pregnancy was less than stress free. I visited my OB/GYN regularly as well as a Perinatologist and was eventually put on bed-rest from November 1 to my daughter was born (4 weeks early) in April.

Often times men may feel disconnected from a pregnancy and eventually from their newborn, but there are so many ways that they can connect. I decided to exclusively pump breast milk for my daughter in part because I wanted my husband to have a chance to bond with his daughter through feedings (and it provided me with a break too).

Our daughter made it into the world with minor complications. I delivered a healthy girl, but I could not have done it without my husband nor his understanding, patience, and his willingness to help. He was there in the hospital with me every time I needed to be stitched, hydrated, ultrasound-ed, and checked. He cleaned up after I vomited even when I had vomited for the sixth time that day.

Most importantly, in addition to doing the grunt work, my husband also took every opportunity that he could to learn about my pregnancy, the problems we were facing, and what he could do to help. He remembered to ask the questions that I could did not and he reminded me of the doctor’s order when I was too tired to think. I am grateful!

May 8th, 2009

A Mother’s Love is Priceless

I received this wonderful Mother’s Day gift from Jordan Deatherage of Barkely who recruited me to be a March of Dimes Mom a few months ago. It is a necklace appropriately named “Mother’s Love” from Red Envelope, who’s donating 10% of each one sold to the March of Dimes (valued at $50).

Red Envelope is owned by ProFlowers, who have also generously set up a March of Dimes charity. If you order Mother’s Day flowers through www.proflowers.com/marchofdimes, $10 of every order will go to support March of Dimes and its programs in communities throughout the United States.

So go ahead, buy your mom a beautiful gift that, along with the love that you send, comes with “thanks” from all those the March of Dimes will help.