In keeping with my not-so-vocalized plan to take care of myself this year, I have been going to various doctors to ensure that my health is up to par. This includes the dentist. Back in December a tooth broke so I found a dentist who referred me to a Periodontist to make sure that the gum area where the tooth broke was clean enough to have a replacement. Between my dentist appointment and my periodontics appointment, the tooth next to the on that fell out- a tooth that was previously root canaled- also fell out.My years of making fun od the various toothless people in my college town of Oneonta were coming back to haunt me! At any rate, I saw the periodontist on Saturday and had to have both teeth extracted.
If you have never had a tooth extracted, consider yourself lucky. In fact, despite having been in labor for over 30 hours and eventually having to recover from a c-section, I will tell you that the post-operative pain of a tooth extraction is the WORST pain that I have ever felt. It is a combination of back labor mixed with a perineum tear all while having a root canal without anesthesia. One day after the surgery, I found myself breaking down in tears every few minutes as my body received jolts of pain.
Now, I have pain killers. He prescribed, along with an antibiotic, Tylenol with Codine which never really works for me but does allow me to sleep. However, when it comes to drugs, I am a lightweight. One Tylenol PM knocks me out for 12 hours and I have to refrain from taking anything when I am home alone with my daughter. So today, while my husband was at work from 9:00 am to 6:00 pm, I was forced to go medicine free, take care of my daughter and even walk the dog.
And that’s where the “bad mommy” thing comes into the play. My husband fed her breakfast this morning, and for lunch I fed her fudge cookies and milk. I followed that up with a snack of fudge cookies and a few sips of my soda. For dinner, I begged her dad to bring her Chicken Nuggets and apple slices from McDonald’s. I did not get her dressed today nor were her teeth brushed this morning.
And I feel very guilty. This never happens- even when I am sick she gets balanced meals and a bath. Today, however, I had an Aiming Low moment and I swear all I could do was apologize to my husband. Luckily, the Tylenol with Codine will kick in soon and I suspect that the guilt would be forgotten. I am sharing this simply because I want proof that we all mess up. And that I am human.
On the contrary! You showed her that chocolate has medicinal qualities, and that those are enhanced with milk! You modeled self care, and chose not to be doped up while she was in your care. You took care of her dinner through modeling productive ad healthy communication with your husband. If you want to claim a title like “bad mommy” you’ll have to work harder at not working next time! Feel better now.
.-= Mama C/Catherine´s last blog ..Mama C discovers evidence of black farmers in Maine in 1993! =-.
Thank you so much for this. It made me feel so much better. I guess perception really is everything, right?
Hi, I just joined your site and I had to comment because I think that many of us mothers go through similar experiences but don’t share them. I applaud you for your honesty as I am the same way when it comes to providing a realistic view of life in general but specifically motherhood and marriage because both do not live up to the perfect image that so many try to paint. Of course we have great memorable moments we wish we could relive over and over again but there are times when it becomes very challenging. When we are sick we cannot function the way we normally would and before we had kids we only had to worry about taking care of ourselves and if we only ate fudge cookies and milk for lunch we wouldn’t feel as bad. I wouldn’t necessarily consider you a bad mommy because it isn’t as if you only feed her cookies and soda on a regular basis. From your description it sounds as if you were in extreme pain and discomfort and you’re right. So, don’t beat yourself up about it. We are all human and don’t do everything by the “book”. It is very challenging to take care of your child/children while you are sick. We have to make the best of the situation sometimes and just push through it the best way we know how. I am very critical of myself as a mother so when I’m sick I just get up and do what I have to do because the guilt I’d put on myself would tear me up inside. I hope you get better soon.