What is the adage you hate the most? Every cloud has a silver lining; Stop and smell the roses; There are other fish in the sea, If at first you don;t succeed, try, try, again?
Write a story in which someone cheerfully cites an adage and you let loose with your real feelings on the topic.
Leaving Vegas was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. Having my baby ripped from me 20 weeks early and taken away before I coudl even see her lfet me feeling empty and frozen. I never imagine that my wedding weekend would turn into months and years of mourning. And yet, I got on that plane back to New York. Back to the truth. We were facing oceans of questions. After a day of explaining I knew that any minute the flood of pain would come rushing back.
She was 21 weeks along. We were planning together, but now I could no longer see the future. I ried to ignore the calls. I tried to miss her by minutes. And then it happened. We ran into each other on campus. Her sillouhete, growing with life, was a constant reminder that I was without. And then she spoke.
“God has a plan. Everything happns for a reason.”
The fury errupted in tears and in projectile movements of a stapler and a chair. “Your g*d has a plan? G*d took my baby- the child of two good people who were genuinely in love- and left your- the woman who through a one night stand got pregnant and then told the father that he had to let you move in or you would take that baby away. How dare you speak to me about g*d. You have no right. What about my plan? What about my heart? What reason exists that explain away the pain? If your g-d thought that this would be best, then he is a sadist. I don’t believe you. I suggest you walk away and I hope that you never have to deal with the pain of losing your child.”
I threw myself on the floor and cried for two hours. I screamed and pleaded with this g*d to undo this. To wake me from this nightmare. And when I finally stopped, I knew. I knew that my life was forever changed.
*I wrote this using my journals from February/March 2003.
I’m getting punchy, but wow wow wow.
I’m sorry for your loss, because it is one I know well.